I spent half my morning online shopping with mom for dresses and she rejects each of them based on either “I am too old for that” or “my tummy will be shown”. And, if these reasons were not enough, there were a multitude of other filters with length, fabric, neckline, slits and collars. I give up and shove my laptop on her and storm off to take a shower.
Standing under the shower waiting for the hot water to soothe my body and steam the room to obscure vision, I am lost in my train of thought about how much attention we give to ‘log kya kahenge’ when we go shopping.
Is it too short? Will the Kerala high court claim it "sexually provocative clothing"? Is it too long for people to think I am a prude? Is it too colorful and vibrant and make people think I am queer? Or is it too simple and plain to be mistaken for a dull moment in my life?
How often have we kept that sleeveless top because our arms look too fat and how often have, we kept back baggy jeans because we felt it made us look malnourished; looked with the greed of a toddler towards a vibrant shirt and left it back thinking it is too much and almost added a romper to the cart, but felt the thighs are too thick for them;
Pondered over the majestic six yards of a saree and the elegance of a pastel kurta, but think they are far off the fashion trends to be considered modern anymore, and relished being sexy and feeling hot in that crop top and shorts, but decided you are in the wrong country or the wrong decade of your life to wear that?
We have so many subconscious filters affecting our decisions that in the end we no longer use fashion to express ourselves but to conform to the society’s rule book. Our identities blur with moral police and Instagram influencers on the rise. College is no longer a hub for exploring our individuality and form of expression.
Everyone shows up in ‘modest’ kurtas and formal shirts due to the suffocating dress codes imposed and complete lack of daring to try new things. With the hijab row, embracing religious identity has become difficult and it is almost like the society has imposed a uniform on all its residents.
The pride month is all about inclusion and rainbows while things go back to being rigid the next day. Media has fueled insecurities and continues to add on to it every single day. ‘Fair and lovely’ became ‘glow and lovely’ but I still cannot find pockets in my jeans, women in shorts with unwaxed legs or lingerie being advertised for middle aged or older women.
“Dress the way you want to be addressed” has been the slogan around for far to long and with lines between formal and casual blurring and Corporates leading the world with blending the two, the new slogan should be far shorter and read: “Dress the way you want to”.